ok, 3-4-1.

what it is.

He has no idea what it is he has done to me.
He is the muscles in which my smiles are formed.
He is the reason my movements have become so smooth.
He is the music which drowns my pain.
He is the man i never thought i'd meet.
He is the man i feared never exsisted.
He is the muse in which my mind uses to express
its utt most intelligence.
Only if he knew what it is he has done to me,
than might he know how to keep me.


his favorite one.
♥.


peace.
- fresh.

2-4-1.

it's a two for one day on blogs.

TWENTY TRES DAYS.

♥

currently.

i've become a slave to the 9-5 [well 8-4:30 pm] world.
& while i've known what i am about to go on about, it was
nice to see it personified this weekend.


i have this slight, well bigger then slight, obsession for the
Ovation channel on direct tv's 274. yah. i think that's it. w/e
the point is this channel feeds all my artistic loves & fills
my crack like fixes for the arts in all fashions. from music
to dance to theater to fine arts to poerty etc etc etc etc. i
always seem to find some of the dopest shows on there. this
past weekend i found one that moved my fat ass into the kick
i'm currently on.


ROCK FRESH

it was/is a documentary on a few graffiti artists out in cali, both
southern & northern. KOFIE, TYER, TRIXTER, CALE are just
a few of the artists i remember off top. these men's love for their
art was empowering. it takes you thru basically the life of these
artists on a very personal level. director, danny lee, does an amazing
job really putting the audience in the life of a graff artist. without
giving away the whole thing, KOFIE says i'd rather be doin' some shit
i love & not make any money with the possiblity of doin' some shit i
kinda like to make money then doin' shit i hate, making money with no
time to put love into my art. i really recommend this movie to anyone
who truly loves art, graffiti & the power of the paint.


man. this shit hit something in me. i think more people should follow
this way of thinking. i've made it my mission to get back my shit. true,
this job pays the bills & i do like it. it's not a bad job, just not an artistic
one. i suppose this is where my place in the world is right now and i
embrace it to the fullest. i am lookin' out toward the world & being super
open to taking in whatever the universe has to put in my way. this includes
mending some holes in my life. i owe someone an explanation, an apology
& a few pieces on her album.


world, i'm ready to focus. well ok, i'm ready to try & focus more then usual.



peace.
-fresh.

a road trip.

i am goin' to start planning one. something

about road trips that i think is calming. it's

a simple thing that can bring you closer to

whomever you share the trip with...or it

could push you apart but we'll keep this

shit on the positive side of things. i'm thinkin'

i want to do this soon because i'm itching

real bad lately to get the fuck outta miami.

as for the road trip that is life:

34 MORE DAYS TIL I'M BACK IN THE CHI.

shit on my fuckin' dick, i'm so excited. the

chi holds a lot for me. some things i know

about, some things are yet to be discovered.

i really need to get back to school & finish

this bitch up. i'm almost there, almost. so

that's the next expense. fyi: payin' for school

outta pocket, outta your OWN pocket, isn't

exactly condusive to finishing in a timely manner.

it's actually condusive to takin' 6 yrs to finish a

2 yr program. whatever though, i've got this

shit on lock. my futureis bright, i know this bc...

well bc it's MY future. if my past has taught me

anything, it's that my future has no choice but

to be amazing. i don't believe that the powers

that be would continue to allow me to allow myself

to accept negativity or negative energy anymore.

truly.

lemme just give a quick shout out to cut chemist.

i don't know what y'all know about dude but you

need to know more about him. TALENTED

mother fucker right there. stop sleeping. wake

the fuck up.

also, you know how i dig the local artists in this

city. it's not secert i believe that they make this

place what it is & why i love it so much. there is

a photographer/artist who is friends with an

artist i've written on before, ABSTRK, Jah Cuba.

this dude's eye is spectacular. his work is deep,

it's compositon seems to always work even when

you know it shouldn't. his vision of miami is what i

think most overlook. his focus on the daily, everyday

life of this city & our surroundings is what makes his

work stand out from other photographers reppin' the

mia. on top of that, he's just a real humble, down to

earth dude.

sueño. jah cuba

peace.

-fresh.

hip hop honors.

last night VH1 had their annual
hip hop honors show. this year
was a pretty ill show. it's the 25th
year anniversy of Dej Jam so the
entire show was to honor Dej Jam,
past & present. tracy morgan hosted
& that mother fucker is funny. i mean
funny as fuck. talkin' about 99 donuts
cuz a bitch ate1. dude said he walked in
& saw rick rubin..."i ain't know jesus
christ made beats." classic. that shit
was/is CLASSIC! lmao. [google rick
rubin should you not find the humor]

there were some acts i could've done
without, such as ashanti & ja rule,
ricky ross the boss & trey songz fuckin'
up my Warren G fix.


the roots & jazzy jeff did their thing thru
out the show. i'm not too sure how i felt
about kid rock spittin' to LL Cool J. i felt
some sort of way about it though, finding
the proper word to describe it is the current
problem i'm having. MEFFFF & RED killed it.
of course, though. ONYXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!
man, i was lyin' in bed watching this goin'
getting all sorts of hyped. kickin' the blankets
off & shit, you know mad hardcore shit. Luda
& scarface did their thing. Luda can get anyone
hype. DMX....i've seen worse drug addicts on
stage. he was aight, you can hardly ever understand
dude but it was an energetic performance. whatevs.
KRS, Wale & Travis of GCH did a tribute to the
Beastie Boys & i fell in love w/that shit. EPMD did
their thing & P.E. is my shit for life so i can't give an
unbias opinion on them. Em was good, not a fan
but it was pretty dope.

the finale was kinda lacking, in my opinion. ghostface
& chrisette michelle did a quick joint. nothing too crazy
but it's ghost so i happy just to hear him. Wale spit on
Kayne's "Touch The Sky" it was.....whatever. i'll forever
have a sour taste in my mouth for Kayne with his bitchass
move @ the VMAs. i kinda wondered why it was he, jay, nas &
a few others weren't there but i'm not disappointed in the
turn out.




peace.
-fresh.

jesus had a gheri curl.

after much discussion & late night talks
whilest half asleep, i figured out that jesus,
not white, had a gheri curl. don't ask how
it is i've come up with this conclusion but i
have.

i'd also like to point out that because he had
a gheri curl that he would've had to have used
soul glo. making soul glo jesus juice. man, this
all makes so much sense, it's insane..


right.


this weekend was hella boring except for yesterday.
yesterday was a trip down memory lane & i must
say, i enjoyed it very much. i've been slippin' lately
on my writing and while i know that it's part of what
gets me thru payin' bills, sometimes i just don't want
to do it. lazy as fuck, right? i know but don't judge me.
i'm the queen of doing shit last minute. the QUEEN.
truthfully, it can get annoying....not to me, to the people
who are on the outside or on the receiving end. i don't
know tho,i think people need to ligthen up & relax.
shit'll get done& when it does......pure genius. have i
ever disappointed you? have i? i didn't think so,
i did not think so.

yo, so pet peeve numba 10,080: on looker traffic. i was an
hour late today. partly bc i hit off instead of snooze but
mostly bc i was sitting in traffic thinkin' some huge ass
accident happened & come to find out, we're sitting on a
freeway to look on the opposite side at a fender bender.
really, folks? has your life become so mundane that your
interest IN THE mundane is fuckin' you up? let's not to
continue this, aight? i can't help to take some much assholeness
& random strangers slammin' on brakes & causing traffic
when i should be goin' 80 is way more assholeness then
i need to deal with at 8 in the am.

my mission in life is to find a job i love. and i don't mean a
job i say i love for the sake of keeping said job. i mean i
want a job that i hop out of bed for. i mean a job where i
can't wait to wake up to. i mean a job that feels nothing
like a job bc i love it so very much. this is my goal in the
next few years. i will accomplish this & when i do, i'll
honestly never complain about sitting in traffic, asshole
co-workers, freezing cold offices, or fluorescent lit hell.


man, i can not wait for that day.


peace.
-fresh.

hip hop snob.

i've been called this a few times in my life.
ok, i've been called this every time i get into
a discussion w/someone who is sticking up
for the newer, "modern," side of hip hop. you
know the type, Lil Wayne fans that want to
argue with me about this man should always
be refered to as the best rapper of all times.
-blank stare-

recently, MTV posted a list of the Top 10 MCs
of 2009. on this list we have:
-Fabolous
-Drake
-Rick Ross
-Lil Wayne
-Kanye
-Young Jeezy
-Jay-z
-50cent
-Gucci Mane
-Raekwon

-continuing my blank stare-

yes to: rae & jay.
ok to: drake & fabo.
FUCK NO to: the rest.
but who am i to comment, right?

who am i? i'm a backpacker who refuses to accept
what the fuckin' masses says or accepts as hip hop
in today's society. i was the kid who owned a tribe
album before i knew how to do long division. i'm
the one that knows there are way better artists
who deserve a spot in a top list them mother fuckers
addin' 'eezy to end of every word or talkin' about
fuckin' every girl in the world. you got elzhi,
you got skyzoo, you got wale, you got jean grae,
you got pharoh monche, you got immortal technique,
you got groups like the roots, jedi mind tricks, i mean
i'm fairly positive i don't need to continue to list
shit bc you're on your shit.

hip hop is diversity. sure. but it has, undoubtly,
lost a huge part of what made it and should make
it hip hop: content. intellect. skill. talent. fuck, i could
go drop a track right now that would be fire w/the
right producers & the best equipment. it makes me
sick that some the men mentioned are considered hip hop.
i have no problem admitting to being a hip hop snob.
fuck man, in my mind and in the mind of a lot of fellow
hip hop heads, there are standards that have got to be
met in order for you to come into a prize fight like
hip hop & win a title.


/end rant.


peace.
-fresh.

hi'yooooooooooooo!!!

giardino gourmet salads.
mama mia salad w/a scoop of tropical chicken.
holy fuckin' shit on my dick, this is my favorite thing
evvveeeerrrrrr. my lunch is about to be lovely. very very very
lovely.

one thing i really do love about miami, aside from the
amazing underworld of art & music, is the food here.
we are lucky enough to live in a cultural melting pot
w/all the residents from countries around the world
that have made miami their second home. i'm an
eatter, a fat mother fucker if you will, and the fact
that i can have a wide variety of food at my fat
little finger tips is....fanfuckingtastic.

enough of that.


i'm in the middle of a discussion about women carrying
their own stash of condoms. why wouldn't you? it is your
pussy you're fuckin' with, right? random sex happens &
if you're lucky, happens often so it's hella irresponsible to
not be prepared for all outcomes. some women are setting
the rest of us back 40-50 yrs with some of this "it's the man's
responsiblity" shit. how about it's both parties responisiblty
to make sure we're protected whilest we bump uglies. jesum,
where are the minds of the world at sometimes, i wonder.


i wrote a few pieces last night on this dude i'm diggin'. it's kinda
ridiculous how sick the concepts for these pieces are. we're hip
hop heads, me & him, so i came up w/a way to meld some songs,
lyrics & artists in w/the writing. shits came out pretty ill like. i'm
kinda shy when it comes to having to read them to him, tho. he's
given me props on my previous works & commented on his thoughts
of how talented i am. he's good. buttering me up & shit. i love it. lmao.


mushy. i suppose it's cute & shit.


peace.
-fresh.

smitten.

someone -points to myself- is hella smitten.

this is like, a whole lot for me to take in right now to be
completely honest with you fellow bloggers, stalkers,
fans, freaks & frauds.

i like him. i'm not even going to lie about this. i like this
man. a lot.

i also like my pimp status. i like my pimp status a lot. i've
been single for years, literally, and have since picked up
and owned this single life thing like a master of aces. i
don't think you can find a better single person who is as
good as i am at being single. truly, i doubt you could.

with THAT being said, i'm nervous. honestly speaking,
i'm nervous that giving up the familiar will lead to akward
moments, blushing cheeks, girly shit like "bbbaaabbbeeee,
i miss yyooouuuu." or "baby, i wanna seeee yyyooouuu."
-blinks- i mean that shit is cute & sweet & nice but is it me?
that's the question i've been asking myself: Am I female
enough to be THE female in a 1 on 1 situation?






after much thought, yes. yes i can be the female & while,
admittingly i'm not always the best female bc i'm crude
as fuck & say shit like "suck my dick" when you piss
me off, i am down to be the best female i can be. there is
something very reassuring, comforting and well, at the risk
of already sounding girly, sweet about the idea that with the
clash of personalities that is him & i at times, it's working it's
way out. he appreciates that i'm fuckin' completely insane,
lack most moral limits, have the mouth of a sailor, the dirty mind
of what would seem like a love child from the likes of Ron
Jermey and Jenna Jameson. he laughs at the corny shit i
come up with because he knows i'm so serious about being
corny. i'm full of oxymorons, childish sex jokes, aloofness,
crazy dreams that are only ever half way started or finished
and yet.....he seems to dig it.


this man, with all the flaws of being a human pushed aside,
might just be a saint for putting up with me for any extended
amount of time.





peace.
-fresh.

lost in translation.

i have been.


world, tell me when being courteous & having manners went out the fuckin' window. i'm a lady of pretty sound morals, albeit not always evident in my actions but the point is - they're there, somewhere. i hold doors. i say please & thank you. i call my elders sir & ma'am. i smile & nod politely when being hit on by unattractive people and pretend as if they have a chance in firey hell to get between my legs [currently lacking sound morals] as to not offend or hurt their feelings.

i am not a saint [mad obvious] but there are things that are, even in this fucked up world, unexcuseable.

i am sure we can sit here & list shit that bothers us about the world & the assmonkies who fill it but i have a better idea. let's just be better. be better at life. truly & honestly, not hard to do. just be a better you.


i have no regrets in life, only temporary moments of denial on some of the more shameful parts of my life. ie/ dealing with a dude i knew a friend liked, dealing with 2 guys that were close friends [not at the same time, chill], throwing up on myself while driving after a night of liquid loving [that's actually more of a funny moment], etc etc etc e-t-c. the point of this ridiculous spill of private yet slightly embarrassing moments is to say this: i'm amazing regardless & i'm a better me.

sidenote: i am kinda reckless. that shit is sexy. yes or yes? .....


aight, so world, you've got your assignment. get to it.




peace.
- fresh.